by

Heide Kaminski

January 31, 2001

I am sure most moms of teenage or pre-teen daughters or even sons can relate to my plea. Yet I feel all alone... I am sure this is just a passing phase as I went through with your sister, yet while we are passing through this phase it is so painful, it feels as though it is going to last for eternity...

Mostly you demand, you give very little in return and no thanks at all.

Mostly you complain, appreciate very little and compliments are extinct. You are in all kinds of charitable clubs at school, clean your room at your dad's house without being asked to, but you treat me like I am your worthless slave.

"I had to use my lunch money to pay for overdue fines at the library, so give me more lunch money!"

"I need these jeans clean and dry in two hours."

"Why is there nothing to eat in the house when I come home starving from school?" (except for the potpies, mini pizzas, maccaroni and cheese galore, sandwich stuff and salad makings...)

"You have to be at a meeting in school tonight. You're tired? Oh, well!"

"I forgot to ask for carpool arrangements, so you have to take off work early to take me to rehearsals!"

"Since we have no school today due to icy roads, why don't you take me to the mall!"

Those are only a few examples of remarks I hear almost daily. Then there are of course things like I am lazy, because I go on the internet in the wee hours of the morning and again late at night.

Or - your hate being poor, because I just spent my last 5 bucks on gas money -to drive you to yet another place- and you lost your lunch money.

Or - you hate your stepdad, yet you hold out your hands wide open, when he empties the change out of his pockets.

You play wild with your little brother and then leave him to me all wiled up and you hate him, because he won't stop wanting to play wild with you. How many times do I want to say "Go ahead and pack your bags, move in with your dad!", but I don't say it, because of fear that you might take that literally, knowing that would be the ultimate slap in my face...

You boast yourself with all your glitz and glory in your plays and competitions, but does it ever occur to you that you would not be there, had I not been willing to support it...

You complain that we do not have the money to send you to Australia, but you forgot that I worked my behind off to send you to France two years ago...

You throw words like lazy, mean,embarrassing and I hate you at me and without apologizing you turn around and expect unconditional forgiveness from me. But the coldness with which you encounter any mistake on my behalf borders on cruelty at times.

Once when you called me a rotten mother, I countered with "You will be one, too!" and stunned you for a few minutes as I went on to explain that every child will find faults with his/her mother no matter how hard she tries. I know I am a much better mother than mine was, and maybe you will even find ways to improve my mothering skills.

After you read this you will probably exclaim: "I can't believe she embarrassed me like this. On the entire internet above all! I am not like that!" But save this, because there might be two more occasions when you will wan to pull this up: when you want to pass this on to your own daughter, and when I passed on. I am crying as I write this. It hurts so much! You want to know why?

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

xxxooo Mama